Does this fast living lifestyle that sometimes makes us feel anxious, departs us from our dear people and slowly but firmly breaks relationships we were building for years? If you do not want to get into conflict and suffer in relationships, keep in mind that you are the one that suffers the more. Identify what keeps the agony going.
If you often prove that you are right, if you do not let the other side to have their personal space, if you have demands that can’t be met by the other side even though you argue much, work on your behavior (alone or with therapist), because it is the only thing that is completely under your control.
Keep in mind that you will never get enough of what you do not want. You will keep chasing for pain, suffering, dissatisfaction, anxiety – same as junkie and an alcoholic keep asking for what they contempt – until you change your mind and decide to leave vicious circle. Use the strategy you have to, but resist the urge for things you despise. Practice to shut up if that is what brings pain into relationship with someone. Work on physical distancing from potentially painful encounters. Think deep at least for a moment before you say something.
It is very important to try to create better relationship, to be full of love (even sometimes it is very hard) regardless of the fact that in such situation it would be unusual reaction, even if you have to pretend at the beginning. As time go by, you will gain such a great manners and behavior that will not let you mind these reactions nor will they seem like strange! This is clear to you because the reaction is learned habit of your Ego. And habits can be changed! If you think this is what needs to be changed, first you need to develop the strategy in your head, to observe yourself in your mind and the change of behavior and to get used to thing that are to happen in reality.
Do not expect. Even then while you are developing relationship and behavior in your head, do not expect anything from the person you are in any kind of relation and do not ask for anything. Simply say to yourself: „I do not expect anything because I know that they can be just who they are, and not the ones I think they should be”, and then act accordingly. This is the one of the fastest ways to completely change any problematic relationship.
Do not fall in a judgment trap. By liberating yourself from the need to judge how someone should be like, clear that room inside you for love. Firm relations emerge from devotion of two focused individual to love each other unconditionally and help each other to develop their full potential.
Both persons give without hesitation, without selfish motives or wish to maintain the relationship on certain level. When we love honestly there are no boundaries! Unconditional love is something you should aspire to in every relationship, and in life in general! What should be the model of behavior for you to achieve perfect, great relations?
God has given us perfect behavior model that we all should look up to from the moment we are born. Give love even if it is given back in form of dirty dipper, yelling, burping, snoring, sleepless nights… Do not expect anything in return for love you give. Love for children is so pure and unconditional, so much that you would give our life for that tiny man. They are so important. Even though you do not ask anything in return, they give you the biggest blessing there is. That should be your model, so you can create same perfect relations just if you follow intuitive conscience that is present in each cell of your body.
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